Newborn babies are a blessing to a couple because they are a source of joy. Couples usually think that having a baby would strengthen their ties; however, it may also strain the relation. The transition from being a couple to parenthood is always challenging, whether it was a planned event or unexpected. The couple has to face role changes, lifestyle adjustments and cut down their social networks. More often than not, the couple may not even have time for each other.
New mothers are usually forces to cut down their social ties. Career women are even forced to quit their jobs, either permanently or temporarily. The adjustment from the different routines is very likely to increase stress levels among the women. For instance, changing from challenging projects with strict deadlines to numerous household activities and nappy changes can be burdensome to most people. The uneasiness would definitely affect their relationships in the long run. The couples should take time to communicate with each other when there is less tension. Sensitivity and understanding from both parties would prevent the tension from resulting to further problems in the relationship.
After childbirth, women experience many challenges with their own bodies. There is a change in the hormonal levels that may lead to mood swings. Their bodies also alter and it may take very long for them to return to their original state. For some women the breasts sag, others have their hips widen and a few others experience changes in their skin conditions. Most women gain weight and a good number remain that way for the rest of their lives. All these changes may impact on the self-esteem of the women and even affect their relations with their partners. Constant reassurance from their husbands is a great confidence booster for the mothers. The men should make their wives feel beautiful by encouraging them, and if need be, offer their support by accompanying them to the gyms.
Women’s libido greatly decreases after childbirth. The stretching of muscles and the fatigue of carrying the baby around reduces the feelings of intimacy. Bodily changes that women experience make them feel less attractive and this negatively influences the couples’ intimacy. Many mothers dedicate most of their time to their children and end up neglecting the needs of their spouses. All these factors affect a couple’s sex life and may kill the chemistry between them. Couples should create adequate time to spend together and communicate their feelings, needs, and desires to each other.
The men feel isolated when a baby comes in the picture. They see them as some sort of competition for affection and attention. As petty as it may seem, this results to depression among some men. Instead of being jealous of their newborn babies, the men should help with the care of the babies. When both parents carry out these roles collectively, this is likely to strengthen their relationship in addition to relieving the burden of childcare from the women.
Fathers and mothers respond and adjust to their newborn babies differently. This is likely to result to a lot of tension, misunderstandings, and conflicts. These negative emotions may build up and eventually strain the relationship. Seeking relationship counseling after childbirth is therefore important, as it would help the couple cope with the transitions in their lives.
This was a Guest Post by Brenda Panin, a web content writer for marriage counselling melbourne . In her free time she loves to blog about sport, fashion and home decoration.