For some reason, when it comes to cartoon animals, pants and trousers are strictly optional.
This would be fine – in fact, it’s a lot more natural than putting animals in clothes in the first place! – except the presence of other clothes draws attention to the fact that the animal is deliberately wearing everything except pants.
Image: Loren Javier
They are in fact boycotting pants.
This leads the sharp-minded viewer to enquire, “But, well, why?”. Sadly, there is no answer to that question you’re going to like.
There is however a quick run-down of the magical pants-less world of animals, the highs, the lows, and the bizarre.
Oh wow! It’s right here on this blog. How convenient.
Bubsy the cat was the star of a half-hearted Sonic the Hedgehog rip-off back in the mid-90s. His lack of pants is clearly down to laziness, pure and simple – he’s only just about been bothered to put on a t shirt with a lame exclamation mark logo on it, and that’s no good.
Bubsy is, in short, a slob. Sure, he runs fast, but he’s got no style, no panache, no ‘je ne sais quoi’, no ‘œufs de caille’*.
*Quail’s eggs. It’s French, so it counts as fancy talk even if it doesn’t make sense in context.
Worse, the games were really dull.
You remember Yogi bear, right?
Fun guy, always looking out for Boo Boo; bear, role model, friend?
Now, of course he wasn’t wearing any pants. What’s weird about Yogi bear is that he’s wearing nothing but a tie and a shirt. A shirt that has been ripped to shreds!
I’m not saying that he killed a man, stole his clothes and paraded about wearing them as grisly trophies, but I am thinking it very loudly.
Huey?! Ha, philistines!
No, Scrooge McDuck was always the most dapper duck, and his lack of pants only contributed to his imposing presence.
“Look at me, world!”, Scrooge seemed to say. “No, a little bit lower. Lower. Ha! Now I’ll just settle this out of court with my fabulous wealth and you, sir, shall be on your way.”
Scrooge McDuck’s elegant waistcoats and fancy shirts for men always seemed to be a deliberate choice, showing off his incredible fortune while remaining light-weight, agile, and half naked just because he was so rich he could. If that isn’t style, then I don’t know what is. I really don’t.
The entire cast of the JumpStart series of educational games had a good go at rocking this look, but ultimately are let down by Keisha Koala’s self-consciously hipsterish art jacket.
The Crazy Frog, despite his rugged leather jacket, scarf and flying goggles retro steampunk look, was judged to be too traumatising for children to appear here due to his visible genitals, and too traumatising for adults to appear here due to his audible voice.
Abu from Aladdin made a good start with a sophisticated silk purple waistcoat, but his decision to top off the outfit with a fez is frankly inexplicable, and cost him a place on the list. I only hope he can get over it.
This entirely serious and not-at-all tongue-in-cheek post is almost over, so let’s review what we’ve learned today:
- Animals will wear shirts, but refuse to wear clothes on their bottom halves.
- The reason for this is nefarious.
- Scrooge McDuck is styling.
- Don’t trust bears wearing the garb of menfolk.
And if that’s not enough for you, well then, you can just leave a comment telling me what I left out, can’t you?
Susannah Perez writes blog posts for Gagliardi clothes, who sell quality menswear online, especially shirts and ties.