Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, especially if you have children. Both of you can get carried away with your feelings and proceedings can turn nasty. Not only will this behaviour draw out the whole divorce process, but it will harm you more than you think. More importantly, if you have children, it can lead to quite traumatising consequences for them. Here are some things to avoid when settling your divorce with your partner:
Think of the Children
As a parent, you have a responsibility of care to your child. This can go completely out of the window when you get caught up in a divorce. Obviously, this is an emotionally-heated and sad time for you, but you can’t get so distracted by your own feelings and you neglect your child. Children will pick up more than you think. Whatever you do, never make a child choose between you and your spouse. He or she will love you both and having to pick a parent can be an unsettling and distressing experience.
Refrain from bad-mouthing your spouse. No matter what the situation is now, you loved them once – enough to marry them and have children. You can’t ‘win-over’ a child and you shouldn’t want to poison them against their other parent. They should feel free to love both of their parents without experiencing a sense of guilt.
Don’t Make it up as You go Along
A divorce requires some serious planning and organisation. Many people underestimate the costs involved in untying the knot. You should also plan the settlement. Will you be able to afford the house, even if you get it? The difference between two incomes and one breadwinner is huge. Money may be a problem.
Step Away From Facebook
Be very wary about using modern technology at this time. Slagging off your spouse online or over texts could ultimately come back to haunt you in court. Be civil at all times and don’t say anything rash which could incriminate you. If your spouse is trying to get as much out of you as possible, they’ll look for ways to embarrass you in front of the judge. Make sure you have the best law advice by contacting switalskis the family law solicitors.
At this time, the last thing you’ll want to do is talk to your spouse. However, it’s more important than ever to be easily accessible for discussion; especially if you want the divorce settlement to be over quickly. Having children creates an unbreakable tie between you and your spouse, even if you do get divorced – you’ll have to retain a basic line of conversation. This becomes even more important if your child gets married and has children of their own. Try to split up on civil terms.
Wait until your divorce is completely settled to start dating again. It would be best to stay alone for a while. A divorce is a hard thing to go through and your children will struggle to adjust to a new partner so soon after a divorce. More likely than not, that person would just be a rebound and can cause more harm than good.
This guest post was written by blogger enthusiast Jamie Knop. Jamie thoroughly enjoys writing on all sorts of topics and hopes to give knowledge to his readers.