Divorce abounds in our society, even amongst celebrities. However, there are careful factors to consider—7 to be exact—before one begins dating again, particularly in a marriage that did not end on good terms and for those who have children. Consider these tips before venturing out into the dating world:
1. Take Adequate Time for Healing
Despite the fact that marriages are commonplace in today’s society, the feelings experienced are anything but. Intense feelings of pain are hard to face. Healing from these feelings is essential before ever thinking of dating. Despite society’s pressure that one begins dating immediately, it is wise to wait. For those who don’t, they often end up dating and starting a relationship with a similar person they divorced from originally. Time is needed for absolute healing.
2. Focus on Healing
For those coming out of a divorce, finding oneself again is an important part of the healing process. This can actually be a very fun time. It’s a time to learn new things and to enjoy things that once were enjoyed and may have suffered prior to and during the divorce.
3. A Guideline to Follow
To gauge when it’s time to begin a serious relationship, divide the previous relationship by 2, in terms of years, to wait that many years after the initial meeting with a divorce attorney Morristown for another serious relationship. For relationships that lasted for more than 8 years, it is not necessary to wait beyond 4 years for another serious relationship.
4. Avoid a Repeat in Relationship
It’s normal to feel a longing for intimacy in place of the hurt feelings one experiences during a divorce; however, such relationships that begin too quickly after a divorce are not advisable. Most often, a relationship with a person directly following a divorce is not healthy either. This is, in part, due to the baggage the divorcee carries, and in part, due to the instability of the new relationship.
5. Avoid Badmouthing the Ex
Badmouthing an ex does not do any good. Whatever temporary positive feelings occur, it is soon followed by regret as it may embarrass the children or oneself.
6. Do not Compete
Although some jealousy ensues seeing an ex with someone new, it is wise to resist the urge to do the same in an attempt to “show them.” This not only unrightfully uses an innocent person, but it is an unhealthy way to choose a new relationship that will undoubtedly end in a similar state as the divorce.
7. Take Time to Introduce a New Relationship to Children
Kids are just as vulnerable as the divorcee. Careful consideration should be taken in regards to bringing someone new around. This should be avoided until it is certain that the new relationship is secure. Children are fragile and need a secure relationship to forms bonds again.
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